


this is brave, this is bruised

by parkerxheart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And Gets One, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attack, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Swearing, Tony Stark Cries, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, but it's tony so, they kinda make up yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 01:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18458552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkerxheart/pseuds/parkerxheart
Summary: "I'm sorry about everything," Steve said softly. "I'm sorry about keeping it from you. I'm sorry that I hurt you.""Damn fucking right you hurt me," Tony said weakly, tears suddenly burning the backs of his eyes."I know," Steve said, reaching over and laying a hand on Tony's arm. Tony didn't even seem to have the energy to flinch away from it and let the contact occur. "I didn't realize how much it hurt you."Tony bit his quivering lip and tried hard to keep the tears from falling.He couldn't start crying.Not in front of Steve.ORTony and Steve finally talk about stuff, or at least attempt to before Tony can't handle it.





	this is brave, this is bruised

**Author's Note:**

> Well kiddos, Endgame is very, very close. For us Candians, we have twelve days. TWELVE DAYS. I'm going to die. 
> 
> This fic, thank you for asking, is me venting about what I think should happened in Endgame, since Tony struggles with anxiety and all, and I don't think Peter's death really aided to that ;)

_"Mr. Stark?"_

_Oh god no._

_"I don't feel so good."_

_Please no. Not him._

_"I don't- I don't know what's happening- I don't- save me, save me!"_

_"I don't wanna go."_

_"I don't wanna go."_

_"Sir please, please I don't wanna go!" He was crying by then and Tony couldn't do shit but feel this kid turn to ash right in his arms and not even be able to utter more than two words._

_"I don't wanna go!"_

_And he cried._

_They both did._

"Tony!"

The image around him immediately disappeared and he was upright in his bed at the compound, surrounded by darkness, and standing to his left was none other than Steve Rogers, with a hand on his arm.

"Jesus," Tony muttered, shaking Steve's hand off. 

"Are you okay?" Steve asked in a painfully soft voice.

"I don't know, Rogers, has your friend ever lied about your parents' deaths and kept it from you for years?" he snapped and Steve flinched back like he was burned. "Or more recent, have you ever watched a child die in your arms?"

"Tony, I'm just trying to help-"

"Is that what you told yourself three years ago?" Tony said, venom lacing his voice. "Is that what you told yourself when you beat the motherfucking shit out of me in Siberia and left me  _to die_ in the cold with a barely functioning suit of armor?" 

Steve's eyes darkened. "Clearly we need to talk about it then."

Tony chuckled bitterly. "Wouldn't you like to do that."

"I'm sorry about it all," Steve said. "I really am. I shouldn't have kept it from you."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," Tony shot back. "You really feel like you should come into my room to try to 'help me' with a dumb nightmare?"

"Who was it that died, Tony?" Steve said, ignoring what Tony said, which did cause him to freeze. "Who was the child that died in your arms?"

"Peter," Tony said quietly. "Kid from Germany."

"And that's what you dreamed about, correct?"

"Yes." Tony sighed and stood up. "You don't need to be here. Get the hell out of my room."

Steve didn't break eye contact for a moment. "You want me to leave?" He had his arms crossed and in was standing in a very symmetrical position.

Tony just glared at him until he turned on his heel. 

The billionaire was about to crawl back under the covers and await the next stupid nightmare to enter his life, when he heard, "No."

Tony snapped his head around and saw Steve walking back towards him. "I beg your  _pardon_?" Tony spat.

"No," Steve repeated. "We need to talk about everything and I'm not leaving until we do."

Memories from Siberia flew through Tony's head. Those blue eyes tearing up when he admitted to knowing. The pain in his arm. He feeling of the shield digging into his chest piece. He hated the moment so viciously that angry tears sprung into his eyes. 

"Get the fuck out," Tony said, breathing heavily, trying to not spiral into a panic attack. 

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve said firmly. 

"I don't want you here, Rogers!" Tony exclaimed, his chest heaving. 

"Well get used to it, Stark, because I'm not leaving." He spoke in such a mono-toned, neutral voice that didn't at all help Tony's anger. 

Tony scowled and sank back onto the bed. "What do you even want to talk about?"

"Everything," Steve said. "What happened between us. What happened with Peter. Everything that needs to be sorted out."

"I don't have anything that needs to be sorted out with Peter," Tony said, gritting his teeth. "He's  _gone._ Thanos killed them. And there's  _nothing I can do about it._ "

"Then let's talk about the fallout we had," Steve said gently and Tony wanted to punch him. 

And with that, the panic attack resurfaced, along with the pain in Tony's left arm. "I  _can't,_ " Tony managed. 

"I'm sorry about everything," Steve said softly. "I'm sorry about keeping it from you. I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"Damn fucking right you hurt me," Tony said weakly, tears suddenly burning the backs of his eyes.

"I know," Steve said, reaching over and laying a hand on Tony's arm. Tony didn't even seem to have the energy to flinch away from it and let the contact occur. "I didn't realize how much it hurt you."

Tony bit his quivering lip and tried hard to keep the tears from falling.

He couldn't start crying.

Not in front of Steve.

"I know you probably aren't going to forgive me," Steve said, in almost a whisper. "And I understand. But I just need you to know that I'm so sorry."

And then it all collapsed.

The tears pooled in his eyes spilled over and Tony instantly shoved his hand over his eyes. Then he felt arms drawing him in, and was then buried in Steve's chest with his arms around him tightly. 

Tony choked on a sob and wrapped his arms around Steve's torso. Embarrassment came over him, and it only made the tears worsen. 

"It's alright," Steve said gently. "Let it out."

Tony felt himself nodding and sobs escaped before he could stop them. It was extremely pathetic, but for some reason, Tony felt like he needed to do this. As much as he hated this feeling of being weak and useless, he gave up and cried on Steve.

He was pretty sure Steve had never seen him cry before, and Tony hadn't seen him cry either. 

And yet, here they were.

All the anger and the sadness that had built up over the last week was now finally coming up, in the form of mortifying waterworks. 

After the tears dried up, Tony gathered the nerve to remove himself from Steve's hold. Steve's blue eyes were so full of care that it nearly made Tony break down all over again. "Sorry," Tony said in a strained voice.

"It's okay," Steve said softly. "Don't worry about it."

Tony wiped his face with his hands and sniveled. "Congratulations, you've seen me cry."

Steve chuckled a little but sobered up instantly. "Are you okay?"

"Does it  _look_ like I'm okay?" Tony gestured to his face that was probably a red mess.

Steve didn't respond to that. "We can talk about stuff tomorrow maybe?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah. I need to sleep."

"Yes, you do," Steve agreed, patting Tony's shoulder. "I'm just down the hall if you need me."

Tony nodded again and watched Steve leave the room. 

"Jesus," Tony whispered to himself. "I just cried into Captain America's shoulder."

**Author's Note:**

> This should happen in Endgame :)


End file.
